>the guy I'm into got turned into a snake

put it in your vagina

google
"snake care 101"
you need basically something for him to drink water from and a heating lamp.
DON'T GET HEATER ROCKS.

That will hold you over until you find who is responsible for turning the guy you like into a snake.

>>745279
>implying OP is a women

har har har

>>745279

I don't think he'd appreciate that very much, if I had one to begin with.

>>745280

Much obliged. Will a water bowl work? I'll have to see what I can find for a lamp. And it's actually his own fault he's like this, but that's a private matter.

>>745285
very shallow water.

try putting him on your dick

The answer is clearly to take him on a plane.

>>745290
Well of course. I'm not keen on coming home to a drowned snake.

>>745292
Then I might wind up as some manner of beast myself, and then who'd take care of him?

>>745296
YOU COULD TAKE CARE OF EACHOTHER!

that is romantic man
I mean snakes live fine without being kept as pets

leave him alone for a couple days, i'm sure he'll be back to normal if a hawk or something doesn't eat him first.

>>745295
If only that was an option.

>>745300
"Romantic" isn't the word I'd use, but I'll keep that idea in mind. Unfortunately our romance is a bit one-sided so I doubt he'll go for it.

try some snake sex

i hear their dicks are wacky

>>745303
Dude, they're *spiked*. THEY ARE SPIKED PEENS.

>>745303
And they give the best deepthroat.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OMZMLGPI
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VJ2KVYZ1

>>745301
Oh I'm sure he will, but until then, perhaps I can win myself some favor if I take good care of him.

>>745316

THAT'S your plan to woo him?

>>745313
wackyyyyyyyyy

>>745315

>>745317
It's ingenious, isn't it?

>>745319
Oh, the things I'd do to my ball python-- but I'd never try anything that could hurt her.

>>745315
>>745319
>>745321

Oi. I'd hardly call this "snake care 101".

>>745320

That's not really the first word that came to mind.

>>745323
Then what word would you use? Whenever he gets turned back I can just point out what good care I took of him. It must be at least a little endearing.

>>745324

to be fair, it's probably a better plan than the snake-on-penis advice you're getting in this thread.


seriously, some people.

>>745325
hey, some of us here are giving snake-in-hole advice

>>745325
Yes, somehow I think that would be a little counterproductive.

>>745322
It's a golden oppertunity-- if he'd remember any of it, it'd be interesting to ask "what it was like to have two penises".

We'd do kinky things together and I'd mate him to as many snakes as possible.

Were you doing something that warranted the transformation?

>>745329
That is disturbingly hot. GO SNAKES GO!

>>745333

DON'T FUCK SNAKES.

Good stuff on Google IS.

A little blurry, though...

>>745326
Get your own thread.

>>745329
I'm not interested in step-children.

>>745330
I wasn't. Someone else was, though.

Ooh~ this is a good one.

>>745339

Careful, I think you might get the OP a little hot and bothered.

you could always turn YOURSELF into a snake ;)

>>745343
No.

>>745345
Panther, actually. I'm fortunate in that regard.

>>745348
>745343
>No.

Yes :)

omfg...

>>745349
I suggest you put your own dick away, then we can talk.

>>745352

And now you're assuming I have a dick.


...in b4 no girls on the internet. honestly.

>>745353
Your proverbial dick, then.

>Getting turned on by snakes mating

Jesus Christ some of you people are pants on head retarded.

On a positive note, what snake is that in OP's pic, it's absolutely gorgeous.

>>745350
>>745351
These need a purple prosing...I just don't know how...

>>745355
>it's absolutely gorgeous.

Clearly the OP thinks so as well.

>>745355
Filename says "Red Mountain Racer"

>>745358
Thanks, I couldn't see that because filenames are not shown on the iPhone app I'm using to post this.

>>745357
He makes a far more handsome human being, actually.

>>745355

Honduran milk snake, I believe.

I'm going to pretend my snake doesn't have genitals for the sake of my sanity.

So...we're just going to act like this is possible and normal?

Well alrighty then.

>>745363
Depends on the locale.

>>745363
That's what I said at first, but sure enough as I'm here asking for advice like this, it's true.

>>745363

I know the OP, and that's definitely not the most bizarre thing that's happened.

>>745350

WHAT THE HELL

I thought those were flowers growing from it.

(gay panther + gay snake) << (lady hawk + knight wolf)

>>745437
I can assure you, you probably don't.

>>745656
Hey now. It's nothing like that.

>>745661

I know about your obsession with a certain teenage boy whose name starts with A.

>>745669

Underage boys? My, my.

>>745669
>>745671
It's not an obsession if it's my job. Otherwise I'd have nothing more to with him.

>>745677

But you said you're "into" him, and you clearly care about him, if you're so concerned with taking care of him as a snake.

>>745678
Brilliant, except he's not the snake. Nice try though.

>>745682

...Now I'm confused. Is the snake also an underaged boy?

>>745685
No, the snake is a legal-aged man.

I FUCKING HATE 4CHAN!!!! everyone go suck dick ballls

>>745696
Careful now, don't get too excited. You might hurt yourself.

>>745698
fine. then come at me bro!!!! i traveled all the way from /fit/ to beet ur ass.

>>745687

How did he turn into a snake anyway?

>>745699
I'm shaking in my boots right now. Really, I am!

>>745279
seconded

>>745702
You're a little.

>>745700
That's personal. And I really do hate spreading gossip about what two people do behind closed doors. But let's say there's a certain someone running around like this now, as well. Or hopping, as the case may be.

^^ Late. A little late.

>>745329
fortunately their squamate ancestors shared syringes...

DOUBLE RAPE TIME!

>>745699

If you've come to talk about beets, maybe you meant to be on /ck/?

>>745704

Did you just turn into a rabbit?

>>745708
Not I, and therein lies the problem. I'm a bit more fortunate in that sense, but it's pointless if he's getting turned to a snake with someone else.

>>745677
professional pedo

what the fuck are you guys furries or something

you cant turn into animals go yiff in hell

>>745712

Even better: only a couple of the group of kids he stalks are over 18, and they're just barely so.

>>745712
>>745713
No to both.

And I'd prefer to be human, thank you. I think we all would.

>>745717
I would not mind to be a 40 feet long sentient constrictor snake

>>745716
It's not my fault they hire them young. I have no control over who that group employs among their ranks. I simply get assigned which ones to do away with, and that's that.

>>745719
Yes, but would you like to be a 40-foot long sentient constrictor snake yourself?

>>745725
that's what I told

>>745730
Ah, so you did. Still, I reiterate the question. Would you really? I don't think you're considering it very closely.

>>745720

So....you stalk kids, and your boyfriend has turned into snake.

Either you're a fucking magician, or you're on LSD.

>>745733
Neither, just trapped here, like everyone else. And...for the record, I neither stalk kids nor have a boyfriend.

>>745732
Are you kidding man?

Have you seen what hits can boa muscles withstand?

Also those >>745350 stand as an extremely badass tool for interspecific raep of human females.

>>745733
or both

see /x/

(though I think the PC term is magickian or something)

>>745733
it's not her bf... she turned him into a snake to gain his affection

>>745735

You didn't deny that you follow kids around. Just what are you doing to them?

>>745739

OP is a guy

>>745740
I would state the obvious but in 4chan it is a fucken overused cliche'...

>>745736
You realize you'd have no hands, no legs... in this case, you might able to talk, but it doesn't make up for the rest very much at all.

before you proceed any further OP

in the improbable scenario that you are a girl, TITS OR GTFO!

otherwise die in a fire homo!

>>745743

I would not be able to fap

otherwise these ain't true disadvantages, boss

>>745739
Wrong. I'm a man and someone else turned him into a snake.

>>745740
Nothing that you need to know. It's business. And they're hardly children, the youngest is...oh, 16, maybe 17 now.

>>745744
Did you miss the part where I already said I wasn't a woman? And then the rest of the posters proceeded to advise I put a snake down my pants?

>>745746

How old are you?

>>745746
then die in a fire pedo/homo

Wow, did anyone else confuse this post for /adv/ at first?

>>745750
You first.

>>745751
no u

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THREAD

Only thing that was NOT given ITT was advice of how to keep a snake.

Try /x] if you want advice of how to revert your fucking pedo-creep back to a (superficialy) human shape.

>>745766
We're both adults, thank you, and he'll turn back in about a week. I can't exactly be blamed if the thread devolved to snakefucking, but I do appreciate the few actually helpful comments. (Here's a tip: yours isn't one of them.)

>>745768
OP, how do people metamorphose into snakes?

Is someone responsible for this? How do I avoid getting turned into a snake?

>>745768
baw more homo

he obviously don't give a fuck about your wrickled old-ass as he prefers fresh children meat

>>745773
agreed
being turning into a snake by a faggot for the purpose of later anal sex is scary

op, how do we stay away from people ;like you??

>>745777
here, i'm only asking a question; please don't snake me

>>745773
By breaking the rules, of course.

>>745775
>>745777
...your ability to follow along with the story is astounding, really it. Idiots like you aren't even fun. How boring.

>>745278

Hey OP, I'm from /x/. Can you please explain how the guy you're into got turned into a snake? I'm ridiculously interested.

>>745786
See what I said already. Breaking the rules.

>>745784
at least I ain't a fag

>>745788
Oh. I am so very burned. Really. Did you come up with that one all on your own? Your mother must be proud. At least, that was the impression she gave me last night.

>>745784
>>745787
What rules? There are lots of sets of rules. How can I know how to not break them if I don't know what they are?

>>745787

Yeah, but what rules? You're probably trolling, I realize, but could you please elaborate a little more? Please?

>>745790
>be a faggot
>insult someones mom
>i is cool nao!

>>745792
>>745793
The ones that ban sex and sugar and all manner of inane things.

>>745795
>Greentext makes you even cooler.

>>745798
Australian laws?

>>745798

Are you guys like, part of some group?

>>745799
America, actually.

>>745800
Judging from some of the responses, it seems so.

>>745800
They're Australians, apparently.

why aren't you a panther right now OP?????? i told you I was better at keeping a lover than you, your boytoy's off getting turned into a snake with other guys lol

>>745802
Disregard that.

>>745805
but do you suck cocks?

I hear >>745804 sucks cocks. Sometimes even two at once!

>>745804
...get out.

>>745811
FUCK YOU

>>745812
you get out. of the closet

>>745820
Don't you have some dicks to suck? There's no closet to come out of.

Best way to care for a snake:

Chop it's head off, skin it, and save the skin for later use

>>745827
Somehow that seems a little contrary to the intent of keeping it alive.

>>745835

But you could have a REALLY COOL wallet! That's a lot less troublesome being into a dude who's obvs. not into you.

>>745837
You can't make out with a wallet. Or I suppose you could but I don't imagine it would be very good at it.

>>745837
also gayfags really luv snakeskin accesories

here you go, OP

just for you

>>745850
>>745858
No, to both of you.

>This thread

>>745850
When my snake dies, I want to make a belt out of her. Then I'll cremate the rest of her and put as much as I can into a perfume bottle; they're pretty.

Hey, at least snakes are a hell of a lot cooler than panthers.

I have no idea what is going on except that someone is apparently a pedophile and someone else is too busy sucking off their snake's hemipenes to have them arrested.

>>746033
You're just jealous.

Red next to black
STEP THE FUCK BACK

what the fuck is this thread

> this thread

I don't know about you OP, but I would just find a guy who doesn't magically turn into a snake.

Shame he didn't become a naga. Sexy snake men are sexy.

>>747628
wat.

>>747628
fuck off faggit